toto, we're not in kansas anymore

a few words on cross-cultural communications today.. which is amusing because we're listening to simon and garfunkle, and "i've gone to look for america" was playing as i started this entry.. 

(if i haven't mentioned this before, "we" generally refers to me and my roommate, kate, who is my year at wake and was in a french class with me my freshman year. we're taking introductory arabic together and sharing a room with the Alami family  in the ville nouvelle, the newer part of the city, about 10 minutes from ALIF.)

Morocco, we are starting to see, is an interesting and rather complex mixture of Western and Muslim traditions and ideas. our student orientation, as well as a conversation with ryan, our 16 year old host brother, has helped us better understand what is and isn't acceptable behavior in Morocco, which is more than the usual warnings about pickpockets, scams, etc. 

we were warned before we even arrived on the trip that foreign women are bound to get a lot of attention on the street, solicited or otherwise. wearing modest clothing, ie long skirts, loose pants, and shirts with sleeves lessens the attention, but just being white and female will mean that about 80% of all males on the street will greet you in some way, ranging from  "bonjour" or "hello" to whistling or other undesired compliments. such behavior is also common in Italy and other places in Europe; the difference in social norms in Morocco, and even more so in many more conservative Islamic countries and societies, is quite dramatic.

though i imagine it would be easy for a foreign tourist to fail to realize this difference right away, the repercussions would almost certainly be unpleasant. responding to a greeting from a stranger on the street without being introduced is unheard of, although many foreign visitors to morocco must make this mistake. a smile or any facial reaction whatsoever to a simple "bonjour" communicates a great deal more than it would in most American settings. any reaction whatsoever might say "no, thank you" or "oh, hello to you to" back home, but in Morocco tells your audience far more about you than you'd want them to know. 

for example, to a potential pickpocket, thief, or robber, acknowledging a stranger on the street announces that you are a tourist, unfamiliar with the area and customs, and most likely gullible, unwary, and easy to manipulate or scam. 

a response to most compliments or greetings, however, signals that you welcome attention from the opposite sex, and are interested in meeting that person and establishing a relationship. dating as we know it does not exist in morocco; teens simply do not go out, or even have friends of the opposite sex outside of their family. it is also illegal (and a very serious offense) for an unmarried couple to share a hotel room. what they term "dating" here is what can best be described as looking for a spouse between the ages of 20-21, and even then, dating a person "seriously" (seeing them more than a few times) is expected to lead to marriage. ryan, for example, could not even conceive of having more than one girlfriend, or maintaining a relationship that would not lead to marriage. 

pda is also socially taboo, as it is in many other countries. even married couples do not hold hands in public, and for a couple to kiss or show affection outside the home is unheard of, and could bring public shame to one's family. 

well i could go on and on about this, but suffice it to say it's startling to realize what unconscious gestures can communicate. ladies, as you go about your day, you might be extra appreciative of being able to walk around and smile/laugh at your whim. until i return, i'll be practicing my poker face..